Thursday, 30 August 2012

Camp Nano is nearly over! :(

With the end of the month nearing closer and that 50,000 mark only about a thousand words away i thought i'd share with you guys a really important extract in my book, mostly because it is one of the most important parts so it needs to be just right, it is a very touchy subject too but I argued with myself on whether to include it and it is just way to influentional to my charecters to not be included, so I'm hoping that you haven't already got bored and decided not to help me as I'd love it if I could get some feedback on it. Here it is:) :

She laughed and we left the ally way slowly being sure to not draw any attention to ourselves in the process. I gave Elsie my jacket so she could hide her dress, it looked too much like the swing kids and they'd spot us a mile away. She held my hand tightly the whole way home; I kept praying that none of the SS would spot us or at least that I wouldn’t see Josef lurking around, but my prayers weren’t answered just as we turned around a corner we saw Josef with some young teenage girl who he had pinned against the wall, I could hear her crying and I looked at Elsie quickly, I knew she was going to say something and Josef hadn’t noticed us yet so I covered her mouth with my hand and pulled her back round the corner, I could hear her making small screams for the girl who was with Josef, I knew exactly what was happening behind the corner, I remember Josef bragging about it to me when we were just teenagers.
“She was helpless” He would tell me “Couldn’t even stop me, she hardly even put up a  fight everything worked out perfectly, and I got exactly what I wanted.”
I listened to Josef around the corner as he attempted to get what he wanted from her.
“You’re just a worthless Jew, this is your fault that I have to do this to you, you forced me to.” Josef shouted at the girl.
She begged for mercy for him to just take her to the gestapo but he wasn’t listening to her, there was only one thing he wanted from her and he wasn’t going to let her go without getting it. We had to stay there while he violently violated the girl, I had to keep my hand over Elsie’s mouth as it happened, and she kept covering her ears trying to block the girl’s screams out. She was obviously failing as I felt her tears dropping on my hand. Every now and then she’d try to get away from me, to go help the girl but I held her back because I knew that if she did, She kicked me a few times in the crotch but I kept holding onto her through the pain, she wouldn’t save that girl, she’d just get herself into the same position.
After Josef had gotten what he wanted from the girl I heard him throw her to the floor.
“That’s the only thing you’re good for, remember that when the gestapo get hold of you.”
When I was confident that he’d left I let go of Elsie and she ran around the corner as quickly as she could and sat by the girl’s side, who even though she didn’t know who Elsie was still took hold of her and cried big tears onto her stomach.

Hope you like it and please it would be incredibly helpful if you could leave some feedback in the comments:) 


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